I might not make it. I have a strong faith in God, I know I’m highly favored & very blessed. Still, I might not make it. I’m not looking for a easy way out, I’m not wishing any negativity on myself, I just feel like I might not make it. I know there’s people that care about me, some that truly love me & would be hurt if I wasn’t around anymore; & I appreciate that fact & who God places around me because a lot of people don’t have genuine connections/friendships. I still feel though, that I might not make it. I have goals, I have a plan, desires for the future & understand enjoying the process is key. But lately it’s just been instinct & self pride that has been propelling me forward. I have no will/interest in anything. I’m depressed & struggling for many reasons. And I don’t want to share with anyone because the thought of them feeling worried about me or checking on me or doing things just because they know I’m not doing well makes me feel nasty & uncomfortable inside, so there’s no real benefit in expressing this to anyone. I’m only posting this here for someone to discover if for whatever reason I don’t make it. I want A LOT more, but I’m also content with everything that’s been accomplished. I paved my own way. I’m my own person, didn’t conform to be anything anyone wanted me to be. I’ve experienced real love, the good & bad parts of it. I truly believe I can touch multi millions & take solace in that. Been in rooms & made connections younger me would be proud of. I’ve lived multiple lives since a teenager & done a lot. Grown, learned about the world & myself. I literally can do anything well if I try. I failed chemistry in college 3 times & passed on the 4th & mainly just to prove to myself that I’m smart enough if I applied myself. If you happen to see this & know me in real life & I’m still around, just hold it down. I don’t want to tak, leave me alone unless it’s about anything else besides me. Random but my tumblr is a cool surface level of things that I like, so feel free to take a look.
